Strawberry Muffins and Why I Will Let My Husband Have an Affair With Natalie Portman

Hi everyone! Recently, humor writer, Jessica Wolf, wrote an article about updating your “celebrity list” with your spouse or partner:

Admit it: We all have that special someone in Hollywood who would make us want to sacrifice fidelity. As many of you know, mine is Jon Hamm for obvious reasons. What you may not know is that my husband’s has always been the crazy beautiful Natalie Portman and has been since she was jail bait (although he has always been a bit ashamed of that fact-please know he would not have acted on anything back then but now she is well over 18!).

Anyhoo, nothing could have made her more stunning, more desirable, more Norma Rae-ish than her recent statement to the press that she is proud to be Jewish and would no longer have anything to do with Christian Dior where she is a spokesperson, if the anti semitic designer were not fired (read the deets of this racist, un-evolved, albeit talented man’s antics in Paris here):

Many people in Hollywood hide the fact that they’re Jewish but not Natalie. She did what was right and for that, I am proud to have her be the focus of my husband’s fantasy philandering. Heck, I might even invite her to dinner, introduce her to Brian and serve her these delicious strawberry muffins for dessert. She deserves it!

What would push you to do what’s right for you and/your family? What would you sacrifice to, for example, shop and cook healthy foods for your family? Who knows, if you take that step, maybe your fantasy celeb would show up at your door for dinner 🙂

Strawberry muffins for Natalie Portman:

1 1/4 c yellow cornmeal
1 1/4 c white flour (can use 3/4 cup white and 3/4 cup white whole wheat flour but they taste MUCH better with just white flour)
1/3 c sugar (can make it 1/2 cup if you like sweeter muffins)
1 T baking powder
1 teaspoon salt
2 large eggs beaten slightly
3/4 cup heavy cream
3/4 cup skim mik
3/4 cup olive oil
2 cups chopped strawberries-fresh or thawed, drained and chopped frozen
preheat oven to 350
grease 2 tins of 12 muffin. (this will make about 18 muffins) or you can use muffin papers
In a large bowl, mix dry making a well in center. sStir in liquid ingredients until just combined.
fill muffin tin and bake 25 minutes until golden


6 Responses

  1. Chanel already knows that if Beverly Johnson, Selma Hayek, Eva Mendez or Scarlet Johanson (pardon any misspellings) arrived at my door, they would be immediately bedded (assuming of course, they were as enamored with me as I they) with her blessing. So I'm happy that you are open-minded about Brian's fantasy lusting.

  2. Thanks for your comments!

    BTW, I think Natalie Portman is almost as beautiful as Nayima from American Idol. I just watched her and cannot believe her beauty. I hope she goes far in the competition.

  3. PLEASE note that I edited the recipe, stating that the muffins are MUCH better with only white flour. Yes, they are O.K. using part white whole wheat but for a crazy moist muffin, go for the white.

  4. Tried the recipe using the white flour, extra sugar and substituted 2% instead of skim. My family loved them!! Thanks Alma. Btw, did you mascerate the strawberries before adding them to the batter?

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