For Pete’s Sake, Just Say Thank you! and Quinoa Salad with Cashews

Hi everyone. First off, thank you, readers, for noticing that I am in the Costco Connection magazine this Nov. issue! This magazine has one of the greatest distributions in the U.S. so thank you, Costco for letting me in!

Well, this is a nice segue to my topic for today: Today, I’d like to talk about a little something called Compliment-a-phobia. This is when someone compliments you and you find it difficult to accept the compliment and just say Thank You. Here are a few examples:

As my friend recently pointed out, “When you tell someone you like their shoes, they don’t say thank you, they blurt out, $19.99-Target!”

Or when a new friend asked me in all seriousness if I had had a tummy tuck, shocked at how thin I was after 4 kids . Instead of just saying thank you, I inadvertently dismissed the compliment and felt a need to immediately lift up my shirt and demonstrate to her her how I did not, indeed, have a tummy tuck.

Or when someone tells you how delicious the lunch you served them was and you feel a need to not say thank you but tell them how it was hardly any work and took no time.

Now, why is this a problem, you may ask? Well, when we don’t accept a compliment, we minimize the positives of what someone is offering us in the form of a compliment. We may actually be minimizing the potential for confidence building and good self esteem.

In the case of the shoes, they are telling us we have good taste. Thank you! In the case of my stomach, I eat well, exercise and happen to have decent genes. Thank you! In the case of the lunch being served, we took the time to care for someone by cooking for them and that in itself is special. Thank you!

It is important that our kids see us accepting compliments as well so that they learn it is O.K. and even beneficial to be praised.

Praise this dish because it is worthy:

Quinoa with Cashew Salad:

3 cups cooked quinoa (can get at most supermarkets, definitely Whole Foods, Costco) Cook by rinsing quinoa with water and just like rice, simmer 1 part quinoa to 1 and 1/2 parts water for about 15 minutes until tender
1 cup chopped cashews
2 TBS chopped, crystallized ginger
2 finely chopped, peeled carrots
3 thinly sliced scallions, white and green parts
1 tsp salt, more to taste
1 tsp black pepper, more to taste
1/4 cup walnut oil or any other nut oil you can find

Mix cooked quinoa in a large bowl with carrots, cashews, ginger and oil. Add salt and pepper, adjust seasoning and top with scallions and cashews. Can store in fridge for a few days.

P.S. My plug for the day-Sweet Sisters Cakes ( is an incredible dessert caterer who is local and hugely talented. Her desserts are gorgeous AND delicious which , as we all know is a rarity in the catering world. If you can’t bake for a big or small event, they are your go-to dessert chef: Bar Maitvahs, Work events, weddings, fundraisers, etc. They are flexible and reasonable! Thanks Ron Holtz photography for the above photo!


6 Responses

  1. By not saying thank you you're also dissing the complimentor – and we wouldn't want to do that.

    That salad sounds delish, but how would it be without the ginger? Not a big fan of ginger…

  2. I can't wait to try this recipe Alma. THANK YOU! Btw, I'm very guilty re: the inability to accept a compliment, so next time you see me, ask if I've had botox or something and I'll try not to burst out laughing. Ha!

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