Because I’m The God DAMN Boss! No more Juice!

Hi everyone!

Guess what? I have made yet another in-the-moment decree in my household, like the other ones that my husband can’t stand because I didn’t discuss it with him first: there will be no more eff-ing juice in this house.

We just returned from a great, albeit stressful, vacation in Montreal and Quebec City. I won’t bore you with the details of our trip, but I will say that there was a pivotal food moment when we were at a restaurant with all four kids for breakfast and they all asked for juice.

When I was growing up, if you were lucky to go out to a restaurant which almost NEVER happened, you ordered water. Not only am I opposed to my kids getting “drinks” but the juice is always in a HUGE glass and it is unhealthy and unecessary to drink all of that. It’s also expensive.

Because one of my kids cannot consume a lot of calories because of Prader Willi Syndrome, I did my typical sneaking off and whispered to the waiter to bring the juice in tiny glasses which she assured me she would do. As usual, my request was in vain because the juice arrived in about a 10 oz. sized glass. When I tried to do damage control and limit the juice consumption, the reactions ran the gamut from eye rolling to tantruming from every kid.


Juice is unhealthy! Why do we allow it? We no longer allow our kids to wrap themselves in dry cleaning cellophane, to walk along train tracks alone or not wear a seat belt so why the heck do we allow unhealthy liquid sugar to start the day? What is WRONG with us??

If you have attended a Take Back the Kitchen Workshop or read my blog, you will have heard me say a million times that kids need us to be the authority figures and to provide structure when it comes to what they eat. It is our job to keep them safe and healthy and we still have full control over what they eat in the house. Use that power for good, not evil.

I hereby announce with all of you as my witnesses that this will be a no juice household from here on out. We will instead provide fresh fruit or yogurt smoothies with REAL friekin’ fruit to start the day. And WATER!

Thank you and enjoy your day.



P.S. Use a straw in your smoothies to make it exciting.


7 Responses

  1. Nice post Alma! What is it about us that does fine in our food limits but we “can’t” do our kids?? Great reminder.

  2. Alma,
    My very last foray into the Home and School Association in Glen Ridge was over this very argument. I wanted to get rid of juice with all the school parties, and suggested milk as healthier. The class moms turned on me with a vengeance. You would have thought I’d nominated a pedophile for principal. That was my last official meeting in the world of HSA. Good luck with your movement.

    1. I was successful in getting juice out of all birthday parties in my son’s classes. A huge coup! Not so much for the regular parties, though.

  3. We had the two rules as kids on road trips – no juice and no bacon – too expensive.
    No juice and how about no chocolate milk? Why do schools need to serve that? Those are two easy things to eliminate without depriving them of childhood!

  4. You’re Da Boss!!!
    It’s always been water in our house, for some reason it was never an issue, it was just what happened. Now with my adult children it’s an occasional glass of wine with dinner.

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