Hi there all. I was asked yesterday why I put the men in parentheses when describing the work I do. I had written that I “help women (and men if they are so inclined).” My response was that women have traditionally been the cooks in the family and therefore are the ones who are feeling the conflicts and seeking me out when they are struggling. Yes, men have begun taking on the role of cooking for themselves and their families more and more, but it does not seem to be expected of them by society, and therefore they don’t expect it of themselves in as much of a deeply felt way in my experience. Thoughts?
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5 Responses
Seriously? Give me a break! The issue of struggling in the kitchen hits home, but is there really a huge population on anxiety ridden, Oprah watching dads out there who are trying to work through this?
Have you noticed that most top chefs are men? The idea that men aren’t cooks is ridiculous. Maybe we’re not anxiety ridden Oprah viewers, but I think that we have won the last few Iron Chefs!!!
I think it’s a fair statement. While I know a lot of dudes who cook (including me), most seem to take it on with the gusto of playing Texas Hold’em, drinking single malt whiskey, or extolling the virtues of tube amps; that is to say it’s more hobby than biological function. (N.B. This is by way of hyperbole and not to imply — in any way — that cooking family meals is biologically programmed in women.)
So while you may see us at Whole Foods with a cart full of squab and foie gras, we probably aren’t throwing down our share of tuna casseroles or meatloaves on random Tuesdays in March. Hopefully that can change.
I think it is not all about gender, but about your role in the family. If you are the one responsible for putting dinner on the table, and are trying to watch all the kids and figure out how to prepare a meal, then this may be relevant to you too. However, there are the long standing stigmas and expectations of women that complicate these issues as well.
inner conflicts? Naahhh, don’t think so.It breaks doen to three basic. types; Men who do not cook, men who occasionaly/reluctntly cook, and those who do nothing but.Aside from the primal survival/sustenance factor who throughout history have been known for their inate ability to conceive, create, and execute….things. And leave Oprah the Hell out of this.